A year and a month ago today, I could finally say, “I am finally officially, debt-free.”

It wasn’t a student loan debt. Nor was it something more commonly talked about — or widely accepted — like a car loan or a property loan.

It was my credit card debt, racked up in my early 20s when I had a more experience-trumps-everything mentality: If I want it, I will get it.

This mindset, though unhealthy, was empowering in many ways — it got me into experiences that I now recall and use as conversation fodder, it emboldened me to give weight to my voice and stand firm on my beliefs, it allowed me to see that I have the liberty to say “no” and not bow to pressure

But it also brought on impulsive behaviors and ignorant choices, fuelled by the piece of plastic my primary bank could afford me, on my monthly RM3,000 salary.

I’ll save the talk about the thoughts and behavior that led to irresponsible spending, even though I grew up in an extremely thrifty household, for another day.

Today, I’d just like to share what I learned on this very humbling road to becoming debt-free.

Be honest, with others and yourself — whichever comes first

We’ve heard this in various iterations. Acceptance is the first step towards change or recovery. My acceptance toward the credit card debt I was accruing every month didn’t really happen until I had to push myself to admit to my partner — months into our relationship on a night when I was particularly stressed out and have plumbed the depths of my self-worth — that I carried with me, credit card debt. 

I was ashamed of the number, yes, but I was more afraid of being judged. Judged for the fact that my want for life’s frivolities led me down this path. It wasn’t desperation to survive, it wasn’t the need to put food on the table, it wasn’t like I had dependents and mouths to feed. It was the desire to eat out most of the time, discover new restaurants and speakeasies, travel at a whim to neighboring countries for annual pilgrimages to music festivals, to see my favourite musicians at one-off shows during regular weekends.

I was lucky to have had that safe space with my partner — the first of many — where I could not only verbalize the issue and its magnitude, but also admit to myself the severity of my debt and the steps I needed to actively take to rid myself of it.

Before, it was mostly preventive. A lot of “I am broke” but no real sense of what I’m doing every day, every month. No plan to alter my spending habits and, most importantly, shift the mindset I had around money and the experiences I really needed to live a happy life. I was already tracking my expenditures to a T for at least 2 years at this point, but “seeing red” does nothing when you don’t have a game plan in the form of a budget.

Having that honest conversation with my partner allowed me to have a buddy with whom I could share personal finance-related findings. That first vulnerable confession about my money mistakes pushed me to admit negligent spending and take great pains to overcome the mindset fuelling that behavior, and gave me the room to openly celebrate little wins such as:

“I used my Boost points for my coffee today!”

“I made coffee at home before going to the gym today so I won’t need to stop at Starbucks!”

“I found this RM10 off voucher on Shopee and shaved down my total by using my coins!”

…to slightly bigger ones like:

“I just set aside money for my savings for the first time in my entire life ☺️”

Once I’ve made those first steps, it became a lot easier during my journey to becoming debt-free to openly admit to others the steps I’m taking to chart progress. This brings me to my next point.

Progress not perfection

I’ll admit. Learning to focus on the bigger picture in my journey to becoming debt-free was not as tough as I thought it’d be.

By the time I started my action plan, in February 2019, it had already been 2 months since I began putting in work to grow in the fitness realm, since I first entered the weight area at the gym, and was slowly learning to overcome feeling self-conscious at the gym. I was learning to lift heavy weights with an open mind, and very slowly making headway with my strength gains. So perhaps, that progress helped me trust that my debt-free journey could, and would, come to its end one day.

So, when I did have off days in my journey to becoming debt-free, I did not falter. I trusted that as long as I was putting in the work, even when I did spend more that month than I could afford, I could roll with the punches, budget better, work harder to generate a bigger side income, and anticipate unplanned spending better the month after.

Being patient was key. Consistent actions that I knew I could trust to take me closer to my debt-free goal kept me going. Just as it took me 4 years to accumulate the debt I had, I understood that as long as I followed the charted plan I had for myself to clear off the debt, I would one day get to the finish line.

Up till this day, with everything in life, I always ask myself:

• Am I learning?
• Is this a step forward?
• Is this good for me in the long run?
• Am I still assured that I will one day reach my goal?

If it’s a resounding yes, then I am not worried. When you slip and make mistakes (you’re only human!), you can cry but you must envision the steps you would take to get back up.

Have a plan

This may be a given, but in my 20+ years of experience living on this earth, I’ve learned that sometimes, the most obvious answers and solutions go unheeded because people find it difficult to latch onto the advice they’re given. 

My debt payoff plan needed to enable follow-through, so the plan had to have three main criteria:

1. It had to be accessible.
   Whatever my plan was, I had to be comfortable with it. If it cost a certain amount, it should be within my comfort levels. If it required me to key in my expenses every time, it needed to be right at my fingertips. If it had a deadline, it had to be manageable according to my expectations — this takes practice and self-reflection.
2. It had to be a system that’s set-once, then-done.
   Meaning, it didn’t require me to return to it again and again to crosscheck and tally. This is to prevent myself from checking back obsessively.
3. It had to be flexible.
   Life is unexpected. I wasn’t going to be able to anticipate a year’s worth of spending to a T. There were going to be curveballs, and the plan had to be flexible enough for me to roll with the punches.

The app I had used for 2 years to track my expenditures was good for one thing — informing me how much I’d spend and in which categories. I knew I needed a tool that was a lot more concrete.

Then came You Need A Budget, or YNAB (pronounced why-nab by its loyal users, including myself!), which came with a ton of learning materials — and a book! — that was not just content they created to fill up the Blog section and to boost engagement.

Rather, YNAB’s content contain real-life scenarios, written by very real people, in very relatable language, that evolve around The Four Rules, which are foundational to fully understanding and utilizing YNAB to its fullest potential. 

I was able to hash out a debt payoff plan, with a set deadline, alongside a real flexible budget, while working with a salary that did not meet my expectations. In the debt payoff plan, it was also important to me that I finally started saving.

I was 27 when I started saving RM50 a month — the most I could allocate to aggressively clear my credit card debt while still being able to live somewhat comfortably.

This is why I mentioned earlier that it was important that I was honest and upfront with my predicament. When you face your problems without shame, progress happens. It’s better late, than never.

YNAB helped me reframe perspectives and shift previously held beliefs surrounding money, and for that I am thankful. It’s a tool I still use, and pay for, up till this day.

In fact, in 2020, a renewal of my YNAB subscription was my partner’s birthday gift to me.

Invest in yourself, in ways that are meaningful to you

Some of the most heated debates on the internet begin with “millenials”, “avocado”, “brunch”, and end with “debt”, “can’t afford”, “rising living costs”. While that’s an institutional problem that I’d love to get into, I will save that discussion for another time. 

I’d like to point out, though, that if you love coffee and need it to function on a daily basis, and a financial guru tells you that you have to completely eliminate your daily brew to finally be able to afford things, it does not have to be that cut-and-dried of a plan.

In my journey to becoming debt-free, I still paid professional baristas once in a while, while prioritizing brewing my own, at home. This means making time in the morning, as well as shifting the coffee budget instead to beans (no more daily single-origin beans though!), coffee paper filters, and a gooseneck kettle (not Hario, since I could get a decent one off Shopee for less than RM150).

These minor tweaks were part of my solution that was win-win for both me and my debt payoff plan. I was content. Wasn’t living in caffeine heaven, but I wasn’t unhappy.

Investing in myself meant affording myself the flexibility to be happy, in ways that meant to me, while secure in the knowledge that I was still thinking about a financially healthy future.

In fact, till this day, I still brew my own coffee everyday, even as my ceramic V60 begins to brown and my heatproof glass server has a 5cm crack running from its lip.

The set-up works and my budget is as trimmed as it should while keeping me happy. Give and take, for debt’s sake.

There is no improved version of “you” if you never start

This is the most important. I wouldn’t be writing this today had I not started. Had I waited till I was paid better at my full-time job, had I waited till a bank would approve me for a balance transfer plan, had I waited for a month when I could generate more side income, had I waited for courage to come to me to speak my truth…

I wouldn’t know when I would finally clear my credit card debt. It was the baby steps I took, to learn, to save, to find out what works, that brought me to where I am today — happily debt-free.

Big or small, fast or slow, a consistent pursuit of your potential — and in my case, a consistent pursuit to becoming debt-free — is a life worth living.